


(c)rushing through the snow

by schnaf



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, aka phil needs to find himself some new friends, or a cute boyfriend :), ski au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-15 15:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28941057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schnaf/pseuds/schnaf
Summary: Going on a ski trip with his former best friend and some of his friends turned to be a really bad idea. Luckily Phil is rescued by a cute personal ski instructor.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 24
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, it’s here! Ben bid on a fic at the phandom fic auction and after several delays, here it is! I hope you enjoy it ♥
> 
> I completed the fic, there will be a second chapter - I'll post it on wednesday!

"No." Phil freezes, he's not able to take another step. Well, he wasn't really able to walk before, he barely managed to slide forward bit by bit, clinging onto the railing next to him, trying not to fall. But this time, it's not the skis that block him. It's -

A literal nightmare, made of steel and cable.

A ski lift.

"No, no, no." He's not that naive, he did know what to expect - and no, he didn't expect some little fairies to appear out of the blue, grabbing him by his jacket so they could carry him up the mountain. But just like with putting on the skis and trying to get in line for the ski lift -  
Phil wasn't properly prepared. He didn't expect the skis to be that slippery, he didn't expect it to be that difficult to keep his balance and he didn't expect the chair lift to be that scary.

"Guys. How are we supposed to get on there?"

Nobody reacts. Well, Scotty lifts his head but he doesn't turn around to face Phil. And the rest of the gang just keeps on laughing, shoving each other, having fun while struggling with the same problems as Phil. (Brian, Jack and Curtis. Or was it Curt? Phil's not quite sure about it. But to be honest, he doesn't even care about their names. After all, he met the three guys for the first time just a few hours ago and up to now, none of them actually gave him a reason to remember their names, particularly right now.)

Well, he's not having fun, not in the least. Especially since he laid eyes on this hellish ski lift. Swoosh, swoosh, swoosh, it goes, one seat passes after another and Phil has no fucking clue how they're supposed to get in there without breaking every single bone in their bodies.

Phil forces himself to take a deep breath. No need to panic, it wouldn't help after all. So instead, he focuses on the people in front of him. One after the other, they enter the lift area and -

Actually, it doesn't look that bad if he focuses on them. The lift is still going pretty fast, but apparently, there's enough time to get to the right spot and then you just have to sit down. Well, you need to wait for the right moment, but - nobody trips, nobody falls, nobody gets hit by a chair, so it doesn't seem to be that difficult. Just make sure you get the left seat so you don't have do -

Wait.

Left seat. Right seat. There are two seats each. The people in front of him are lining up in pairs. Including his companions. Jack and Scotty are coming first, Brian and Curtis – or Curt – also managed to line up next to each other. There's no more group, there are two pairs.

And Phil.

No, no, no.

"Hey, guys. You can't leave me alone." This time, they actually listen to him. Well, at least Curtis and Brian - the rest of their group is busy closing up to the people in front of them. They both turn around, Curtis' look is actually a bit pitiful.

His words aren't, though. "Next time, maybe."

Oh, great. So he's supposed to go on his own, to figure out how to use the ski lift on his own. But hey, at least Curtis may accompany him next time. Awesome, really helps him a lot.

This sucks. The whole trip sucks and he knew it back on the plane, he knew it when they picked up their skis and he knows it now. He should just leave, go back to his hotel room, and -

Someone touches his arm in order to get his attention. A guy, pretty tall, around the same height as Phil.

But that's it for the factual analysis. Because -

A soft, curly-wurly tuft - brown, wavy hair peeking out from under his beanie. The warmest brown eyes. A dimple on his cheek, just one, just on one side of his face.

Oh.

Oh.

"We can go together."

Phil barely manages to pull himself together. Now, he needs to stop staring and say something instead.

(But damn, that's difficult. Both, to be precise.)

It's pretty easy to make a decision, of course it is. Just a few seconds ago, he expected to get on the lift on his own and he dreaded it. So getting some company is quite cool. Even if his lift partner didn't have those damn brown eyes, this damn brown hair that makes Phil want to reach out, to touch it, to fondle it.

(Oh no. Not again. Not going down this road again. Why does he need to fall in love with every single guy who talks to him?)

Well, luckily, it isn't that bad. Considering he could have also fallen for Brian, the guy whose second name probably is 'jock' because he's one of those annoying people who just can't stop bragging about themselves... Nah, the guy next to him is a better catch, that's for sure.

"Yeah. Sure. That - That would be great." Oh boy. What a mess. Well, he didn't stutter that much, he didn't mess up the words - but that's about it. Phil is sure he’s made himself look pretty awkward right now.

(Oh, no. Maybe it didn't take his response to convey this impression. After all, the guy heard him complain before. Well done, Phil, you know how to make an awesome first impression. Well, just a few moments ago, he didn't know there was a reason to make a good impression. A brown-eyed reason with this cute dimple on his cheek.)

The guy just laughs. No sign of him being uncomfortable, no sign of him already regretting his offer. Instead, he puts his hand on Phil's back and Phil's heart speed increases until he realizes the guy just did it so he could push him forward a bit.

Too bad.

There's not much time to get to know the guy better. The queue gets shorter and shorter and Phil can't even try to strike up a conversation because he's struggling with moving forward. If it wasn't for the stranger's help, the couples behind him probably would have already overtaken him but thanks to the slight push, thanks to the guy directing him in the right direction, they make it to the entry point right after Brian and Curtis - the latter almost fell over and it made Phil feel a bit relieved because after all, he may not be the clumsiest person around, not even the clumsiest person in their group. But then he realizes the same might happen to him as well and who knows, maybe it won't be an 'almost' for him?

Just as if he could read his mind, the stranger reaches out to him, his hand brushing Phil's, as they're waiting for the next carrier to arrive behind them. And even though they both wear gloves, even though Phil can't actually feel him, it makes him forget about his fears.

Only a few seconds later, there's no need to fear anymore. The carrier smacks Phil in the legs and even though he watched it happen a few times to the people who were in line before him, it takes him by surprise. However, his instinct is to drop and that's the right thing to do.

He sits down. The carrier keeps on moving. A safety bar swings down in front of him - first, Phil is caught by surprise but then he realizes his lift partner pulled the safety bar down. There's a little footrest attached to the safety bar and Phil manages to rest his skis on it, taking away the weight from his own body.

And thus, they're up in the air, a few feet above the ground.

A breathless laugh, right next to Phil. His lift partner leans a bit towards him. It's kind of satisfying to see he's out of breath. Getting into the lift wasn't that easy after all, but he took care.

He took care. And suddenly, Phil realizes why he liked this guy from the first moment on.

The way he looked at him. Like there was no one else around. Like he wanted to take care of him - and after all, that's what he did.

Phil feels safe with him.

"Are you alright?" He takes care of him. He still does.

Phil smiles, he just can't help it. He feels so relieved, so happy, in a way he can't really describe. "Yeah. I guess. It all happened so fast."

Those brown eyes. Wrinkles forming around those brown eyes as the guy returns his smile. "You did well, though. And now you have quite some time to catch your breath."

He nods in the direction they're heading and - yeah, Phil gets it. You can't even see the summit station at the moment.

Okay. Catching his breath. Phil turns his head, he takes a look at their surroundings.

People on the piste below them. Some of them speeding down, some taking slow turns, a few just sitting in the snow. (It's not difficult to guess which group he won't join.)

The mountains are enframing the piste. Mountain peaks rise up in front of them, next to them, behind them.

Snow glistening in the sun. The contrast - dark trees against bright snow fields.

He hadn’t taken in the beauty before. Of course he’d noticed the scenery when they drove to the hotel, but they were in a rush and on top of that, it just looks so different from his current viewpoint. If it weren't for Brian and Curtis in the carrier in front of them, so far away he can't hear them but still close enough to be visible, he'd feel like he entered another dimension, another world.

Along with the guy next to him.

The guy next to him.

Even though Phil really appreciates the scenery, there's a view that's even more beautiful. (And yep, he's getting totally cheesy. The adrenaline rush, probably.)

Okay, so there's an attractive guy seated next to him. Phil managed not to make a fool out of himself when they got into the lift. This guy didn't recoil even when Phil made a bit of a fuss. No, instead it almost seemed it made him happy that Phil accepted his offer. And now, they're here, the guy smiling at him, their arms touching and again, Phil curses the damn barrier between them.

He's got to keep things going. He's got to make a move.

Well, a "move". Phil won't just hit on the guy but at least he needs to prove he can do more than being helpless and drooling at him. "What's your name?"

"Dan. You?"

"Phil."

Dan. Dan with his soft smile and the sparks in his eyes and the big hands and -  
No drooling, please. (Even though it doesn't feel that out of place. Even though it feels okay to just look at Dan, Dan returning his gaze...)

(Something's happening between them. There's this - spark. And oh god, Phil hopes he’s not just imagining it, like he did so many times before. Because it just feels so good, for the first time since he met the guys at the airport, he actually feels comfortable again and Dan managed to make him feel that way just by being there, just by being - so different from the other guys who came here with Phil. He feels comfortable even though he’s high above the ground, moving steadily forward. The other guys don't matter anymore, right now, it's just about being here, with Dan.

No drooling. He needs to keep the conversation going. Just looking at Dan gives him this inexplicable thrill, but he's definitely not opposed to getting to know Dan better. "You're from England too, aren't you? London?"

The crinkles, again. And -

And then, Dan lifts his arm and puts it around Phil and he does it so casually that it doesn't seem like a big thing, but it is, it actually is, Dan is getting closer, even closer and damn, Phil would love to return the gesture but he doesn't dare to lift his arm because he's clinging on to his ski sticks.

"Yeah, close. I'm from Reading. Is it that obvious?"

"Well, you sound a bit posh." Oh, it's so easy to loosen up around Dan. Even though Dan looks shocked, even though Dan pretends to be offended.

"I think the word you were looking for is 'civilized'. You're from the North, aren't you?"

"Manchester. And at least, we talk like normal people, not as if we were living in Buckingham Palace." Phil nudges Dan with his shoulder and his heart does a little jump. Is it because he actually doesn't dare move or is it because of Dan? Both, probably, because he just can't deny how happy it makes him to be around Dan.

Just banting a bit, totally casually. No fear of getting close, be it physically or emotionally. 

Dan just rolls his eyes, then he decides to drop the topic. "So... is this your first time skiing?"

"Yeah. Never even tried skis on before."

"Oh." He laughs and -

His cheeks are so rosy. Probably, they're quite warm and damn, Phil would love to take his glove off, to confirm it.

Doesn't make him ignore the underlying mockery, though. Dan may be a bit shocked, but there's also a bit of glee because Phil got himself into this mess.

And that's okay, that's more than okay. Because he likes the way Dan treats him - he likes how Dan can be super gentle and caring in one moment and make fun of him in the next, not too harshly but in a way that makes Phil relax around him, despite having butterflies in his stomach.

(Yes, it's that bad already. He falls for other guys way too quickly. But normally, it's over pretty soon but with Dan it just doesn't stop.)

"How did you get here, then?"

Oh, that's the part darkening Phil's mood. Reminiscing the first part of their trip…

He clears his throat. "It's because of Scotty - the guy with the bright red jacket, don't know if you remember him."

A short nod - Dan tells him to keep going.

"He's getting married soon. And instead of doing a stag night, he decided to go on a skiing trip with some of his mates. Well, it's not that much of a skiing trip, I guess, more about the après-ski parties." Did Dan exhale when he talked about Scotty's wedding? Did he worry about Phil being here because of Scotty, because of a reason exceeding friendship? Damn, Phil doesn't want to overanalyze everything Dan does, but -

There's so much to overanalyze. So many small signs, like Dan looking quite happy to be here with him too, and Phil just can't tell at what point it stops.

It's just too tempting, Phil wants to make Dan feel safer. (If he's worrying about Scotty or the other guys, that is.) Just leaving some signs too, maybe making Dan wonder too, how he feels about him. "Scotty and I, we were best friends at school. We weren't able to keep our friendship going, though - we kept in touch but we went different ways in life and there wasn't much left to talk about. It's really nice that he invited me anyway - he was a bit sentimental, I guess - but I was quite surprised."

"What about the other dudes?"

"Current friends, I guess. As far as I could tell, Jack is kind of like his best friend now. And he's pretty close with Curtis and Brian too." And then, there's Phil. The odd one out - and he felt that way since he met them. The dread he felt lasted right up to the moment when Dan offered to join him on the ski lift. Because with Dan, he doesn't feel left out anymore.

Just a few moments ago, Phil could have told Dan that he regretted agreeing to come on this trip, that he wished he'd just stayed home instead. But -

He doesn't. He doesn't regret coming along anymore. Sure, getting here was quite an ordeal and it's pretty lousy to feel that disconnected. But now, he's here, next to Dan and that's totally worth it.

Doesn't change the fact that his company sucked, though. Luckily, Dan reminds him of that fact, luckily, Dan helps Phil avoid getting too sappy. "But - no offence, but why did you agree to go on a trip with the other guys? Like, I get Scotty, but the rest of them..."

"I met them for the first time at the airport. Like I said, Scotty and I weren't really in touch."

Dan laughs. And - damn, Phil's really lovestruck, apparently, but Dan's laugh is just so cute. (Also, Phil feels like he can tell it's sincere. Just like with Dan's smiles - his eyes smile too.)

"Oh, that explains everything. I already wondered why you were hanging out with those fuckboys."

Well… Of course, Phil knew nobody would consider him to be a fuckboy. But apparently, that's something quite positive when it comes to Dan.  
(Dan liked him when he spotted him down at the valley station. Well, he liked him more than Curtis, Brian and Jack liked him and that's not a huge accomplishment, but - still.)

Hearing Dan talk about the others like that makes Phil loosen up even more. It's such a relief that he doesn't have to try to fit in with them anymore - that someone values him over the rest of them.

Phil grimaces. "Don't even get me started. It didn't take me long to realize I hadn’t been missing out." With Dan, he doesn't have to pretend he's cool with the guys, he doesn't have to pretend they're funny, he doesn't have to pretend that he can relate to them when they talk about boobs again. He doesn't have to push aside his aversion around Dan, he can freely admit to feeling uneasy around them.

Yet another way in which Dan makes him feel comfortable.

"And now, you're stuck with them here, far away from home. Poor Phil."

"Well, I've got you now." Phew. Daring. Too daring? He can be quite straightforward when he likes a guy, but damn, he regrets it so many times.

Not this time, though. Because Dan can handle it. Because Dan just smiles at him mischievously, leaning a bit closer, and -

Phil catches himself staring at Dan's lips. He's got pretty nice lips, indeed. Not quite perfect - they're a bit rough, they could use a chapstick - but still quite lovely. So full, so...  
Inviting. Damn, he would love to -

He would love to kiss him. Right here, right now. Just getting a bit closer, close enough that he can just kiss him…

It doesn't help that Dan refrains from responding to him. They both stay silent, just looking at each other and Phil heart pounds and there are sparks, fucking sparks between them and he longs so much for Dan, he wants to get closer, he wants to -

They're still on the ski lift, though. They met only a few moments ago. (Half an hour? Phil can't tell. Being with Dan makes him lose his sense of time. Not that it was that great in the first place, though.) He can't just kiss a guy he barely knows. Even if it doesn't feel that way, even though he feels he knows more about Dan than about the rest of the gang, for example - he may not know his mother's name but he knows what his smile looks like, he knows at what point his dimple forms and that it doesn't disappear when he's not smiling and above all, he knows how Dan makes him feel.

Phil suppresses a sigh, he leans back, focusing on their surroundings. By now, you can see the little hut at the end of the ropes. "Riding this lift isn't as bad as I expected it to be."

Of course, thanks to the company. But even apart from that, it's quite relaxed. Just sitting here, waiting until the carrier arrives at the top of the mountain... It doesn't matter anymore that the lift looked a bit threatening when Phil first set his eyes on it.

Dan chuckles. He doesn't seem to be mad at Phil for breaking the spell between them (did he even realize it? Ugh, Phil just can't tell) but something in his voice makes Phil feel suspicious all of a sudden.

And he's right.

"Oh, getting on the lift and going up is the easy part."

Oh. So -

"Are you trying to tell me that getting out of this lift is going to be difficult?"

This time, it's a different kind of mischief in Dan's eyes. Again, Phil can tell Dan pities him a bit, but mainly, he can see glee. (Well, that's kind of positive, right? Because if Dan was worried it was too difficult for Phil, there would be no glee. And he trusts Dan, he trusts his judgement.)

"Yeah. At least, it feels that way."

"And you're telling me that now?"

"Hey, I could have just dropped it. Be glad I warned you."

Phil rolls his eyes. Again - Dan mocking him calms him down in a strange sort of way. He can tell Dan wouldn't treat him this way if he couldn't make it out of the lift. Still, his heart starts racing. And this time, it's not because of Dan.

Yes, he's still glad he met Dan. But - why did fate make them meet here? Why couldn't they just meet in a little coffee shop or at a library or even online?

Phil can't think about alternative ways of meeting Dan for much longer because their carrier moves forward relentlessly, slowly approaching the point where they have to get off. He gets a better look at it and damn, that's really not what he needs because there's a hill so he doesn't only have to get off the lift but he also needs to go down the hill immediately, no time to get accustomed to the situation, no place to take a little break. Now he gets why Dan said getting into the lift was the easy part.

Then, the first part of his group enters the exit zone. He can see them struggling, he can see them falling and on one hand, it lifts Phil's spirit a bit because they can't make fun of him when they're messing up themselves, but on the other, he's the clumsiest amongst them. If they're struggling to get away from the lift, how will Phil end up?

He turns to face Dan, he wants to say something, but no words leave his mouth. Damn, he doesn't want to beg for help, he doesn't want to look weak or incapable, but well, that's exactly what he is.

Luckily, Dan doesn't make fun of him this time. He pats Phil's back, then he starts explaining how he can get off the lift without falling.

(Oh, if only Phil could focus on his explanations... But Dan's hand on his back makes focusing really difficult.)

Actually getting off the lift isn't as bad as Phil expected it to be. Okay, that's mainly due to him focusing so hard on getting away so there's no time to panic. But Dan's hand on his back, steering him towards the little wooden fence on the side of the ramp, is really helpful anyway. From there, Phil can climb down, even with these slippery skis on his feet.

Good news: He makes it down the ramp in one piece.  
Bad news: The other guys are waiting for him.  
Even worse news: As soon as they're welcoming him, cheering for him, Dan turns to him, smiling. "See you." And thus, he's gone.

It sucks. It honestly sucks. Phil has no clue how to ski and now he's on top of a fucking mountain and he's supposed to go down there and - how? How is he supposed to do it? Dan seemed to know what to do and it was so reassuring to have him on his side.

Well, that's not the main reason for missing Dan, though. Dan was the better company by far. For a while, he got to enjoy Dan's presence, for a while, he could just look at Dan, swooning, feeling so happy, feeling the butterflies in his stomach... And now he's back to the good old macho talk.

And macho talk it is. They all get up, skidding over to the point where the piste actually starts. Phil gazes down the hill, looking for a black and white jacket and a black beanie, but no chance - Dan is nowhere to be seen. He's stuck here, together with some dudebros. Awesome.

At least they don't know what to do either. It becomes obvious pretty soon that nobody in their group has any experience skiing - and at the same time, nobody in their group shows a hidden talent for skiing. Scotty is the first one to go - he only makes it a few meters, then he falls over, still laughing, but Phil saw him flinch as he hit the ground. Brian doesn't bother, he just follows him, overtakes him, manages to keep going for a few... Inches. It's barely inches. Then he loses his balance too.

Thus, they start descending. Just a group of Brits in the mountains, making a big mess... Fun.

Except that it isn't. It doesn't take Phil long to realise that he isn't exactly the sporty guy. He's clumsy, he's insecure and somehow, the other guys manage to get the hang of skiing sooner than he does. While he's still stumbling down the mountain, they slowly start to look like they know what they're doing, only falling every ten or twenty meters.

Phil doesn't make it far. He's really bad at estimating but he's pretty sure he didn't even make it halfway down the hill when he decides to take a break. Scotty and Curt, the ones trailing a bit behind, are out of sight already, he's all on his own and -

He just can't take it anymore. He gives up - for now. Or... Yeah. Maybe he’s giving up all together. He doesn't know. He needs to get down the hill somehow, that's for sure, but at the moment, he doesn't feel like moving even one inch. So Phil just drops on the ground on the side of the piste, spreading his arms and legs, trying to ignore that he can feel every single muscle aching already.

Phil can't tell how long he just lies on his back, eyes closed, pretending to be somewhere else. His hotel room, at home, at a beach, whatever - just somewhere else. But all of a sudden, he feels a spray of snow on his face.

When he opens his eyes, he sees someone braked next to him, thus explaining the spray of snow. His gaze wanders upwards, over black-clad legs, a black and white jacket, towards -

Oh.

It's Dan.

It's Dan and he grins at him, fully aware of Phil's awkward situation. "You're chilling here? Nice spot you picked."

Phil sits up immediately. Sure, Dan already noticed he doesn't know in the least how to ski but still, he wants to make a good impression. Better than a guy who just lies down in the snow, waiting for fate to take him away, at least. "Yeah, isn't it? Want to join me?"

Dan laughs, he leans on his ski sticks. "What about me helping you get to a better spot?"

"Is it warm?" Phil asks but he doesn't really want to know. The only thing that could actually convince him to move is Dan's presence, so…

"It's the bottom of the hill. I guess it's a bit warmer down there." Dan grins at him, reaching out to pull him on his feet again. But Phil doesn't accept his help yet.

"We could have a coffee down there. In the restaurants down the hill, it's warm, I guess." Phil's heart races, he can't believe he actually just said that. Damn, normally he isn't that straightforward - sure, he doesn't get his knickers in a twist as soon as he's supposed to talk to a guy he likes, but straight up inviting him on a coffee? Phew, not his style. But talking nonsense with Dan, teasing each other a bit, apparently made him reckless.

He isn't the only one who's surprised, though. Dan stares at him, his mouth a bit open and Phil is pretty sure he's blushing.

Shit, what did he do? Did he actually do the right thing?

Phil can't stand the silence for too long. Instead of waiting for an answer, he grabs Dan's hand, thus letting him know he's ready to get up now. Dan gets the hint - he pulls him onto his feet and as soon as they're on eye level, the blush on his cheeks disappears. Less flirting, more skiing, apparently.

Now that they’ve put aside the coffee question, Dan reverts back to ski instructor mode. He tells Phil to adjust his posture - "believe me, my everyday posture is worse than yours, but you need to lean in the right direction or else you'll fall over" - shows him how to position his skis, how to use the ski sticks... It's actually quite a relief to learn the basics instead of just standing on these two wooden boards and letting fate take over. Still, he struggles with the first few meters on the first attempt. Posture, position - it doesn't help, he's still a failure, he still -

All of a sudden, Dan is right behind him - Phil can see his skis appear next to his own. But then, he can't focus on them any longer because Dan puts his hands on his waist, softly moving him in the right direction. "Shhh. Focus."

With Dan's help, Phil gets more and more comfortable. Of course he's sad every time Dan lets go of him, but each time, he gets a bit better, each time, he feels like he really doesn't need Dan's help for the next few meters. Sure, it doesn't last for long, in fact, it's over as soon as he has to turn, but Dan is always right next to him and sometimes, he returns to his spot right behind him, holding him.

Phil almost feels a bit sad when he spots the houses at the bottom of the hill. It's quite nice to know his little trip is over, he finally reached safety, but...

Skiing didn't feel that bad anymore. He's still not a fan, but being with Dan totally made up for it.

On the last stretch of the piste, Phil tries to collect his courage. After all, he invited Dan for a coffee and - it still sounds so crazy, after all they're both here to do some skiing. But just thinking about mounting the lift one more time, going down the hill one more time, convinces Phil to let it drop and have a cup of coffee instead.

It's all for naught, though. As they head towards the lift, Phil spots the guys from his group - and Dan does so too. Again, he lines up right behind him, steering him through all the other people at the bottom of the mountain, towards his supposed buddies. And there's no way Phil can protest, no way Phil can let him know he'd rather go for a coffee with him than to reunite with these guys.

"Oi, Phil!" Sadly, they spotted him too - Curt doesn't hide this fact. As soon as he's close enough, as soon as Dan lets go of him, he walks over, punching his shoulder. "You made it down in one piece. Congrats, we weren't quite sure you would."

The other guys laugh. Only Scotty doesn't seem to be amused. "Do I need to remind you that we were a disaster too?"

Another roar of laughter. This time, it actually makes Phil feel a bit more comfortable. Sure, they're mocking him but they all know and acknowledge they're just as bad as him.

Then, Dan clearing his voice next to him catches Phil's attention. He turns his head.

"Well, at least you know a bit more about skiing now, eh? Have a good time." He smiles at him, lifting his hand as if he wanted to pat Phil's cheek, but then he changes his mind. Instead he turns around and leaves.

Just like that.

Just like that, he's gone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy let's return to the mountains!
> 
> this is the second and last part of this story. i hope you had a good time! ♥

Phil follows him with his gaze, watches him navigate past a group of people chatting in another language. Then, he enters the lift area.

He can't keep up his observation, though. Curt, who's still standing right next to him, nudges him. As soon as he gets Phil's attention, he leans over, murmuring in a conspiratorial voice but still so loud that the other guys can hear him too. "Oi, did he try to hit on you? Looked like he had a crush on you, the little queer."

Phil's blood freezes. For a moment, he just stares at Curt, unable to say anything.

'the little queer'

'tried to hit on you'

Curt knows. Curt knows something but shit, he wasn't supposed to know, not Curt, not one of the guys who spent their whole flight talking about boobs and pussy and whatever. Not Curt who makes it sound like it's a bad thing that Dan might have a crush on him - not Curt who probably actually thinks that's a bad thing.

Phil smiles at him, hoping to hide the fact that his heart is racing and his hands are sweating. He can't let Curt know he actually wishes Dan was queer, he can't talk about his worries that Dan is probably the straightest guy around, with a petite girlfriend who's too pretty to go skiing so he needs some company. But oh god, he can't. He can't tell these guys he enjoyed Dan being so close, he can't tell them that Dan's smile gave him butterflies in the stomach.

So he just smiles and tries to answer as casually as possible. "Whatever."

Phil spots Dan several more times. Mostly, it's just the black and white dot on the piste, but a few times he needs to dodge because he sees Dan approaching. Luckily, he's the only one to notice. The other guys already forgot about 'the little queer' - they're back to dirty jokes, car racing and other stuff Phil doesn't really care about. (Better than approaching the fact that Phil might be gay too, though.)

But then, his luck runs out. He's just lingering around with Curt at the base of the mountain, waiting for the rest of their group - Brian had announced he really needed to pee and Scotty and Jack decided to join him.

That's when Dan closes up to him.

Curt doesn't notice - he's a few feet away, looking at his phone, grinning. Phil does, though - still, he tries to hide it, turning his head away. Please, please, just - when Dan's around, the other guys might assume things and they're so close to the truth, he just can't stand it and damn, Curt is the one who actually suspected something, so -

"There you are. Stranded down here... You're lost without your teacher, I see." Dan's mocking sounds so soft and Phil just can't help it, he turns his head to look at Dan. At his dimple, at his fluffy hair, at everything that made him feel so jittery when Dan first approached him.

At everything that clearly tells he's yet another 'little queer'.

He doesn't get to enjoy the view for long. The panic rushes back - damn, Curt is so close and the other guys will appear soon too and when they see him talking to Dan once again, he -

"You know what? Just leave." Phil basically spits out the words, the rage boiling in his chest making it really difficult to talk without stumbling over every single syllable. Still, he keeps going. Putting his rage into words, his fear - and his doubts. "I guess there are a lot of other helpless guys who need your help."

Damn, Dan isn't even worth the risk of his friends getting a hint of his true self. Sure, he's a nice guy, he helped him a lot... But he didn't do it for Phil. And the disappointment overwhelms Phil even more.

Dan stares at him, he slowly shakes his head. Then, something in his facial expression changes - hardens up. "I normally don't do that."

He -

For a brief moment, Phil feels something like - relief. God, maybe he's wrong, maybe Dan actually likes him, maybe Dan could be a guy who won't just disappear, who's more than yet another straight guy casually talking to him, raising his expectations for nothing.

But what if he isn't? It's just so -

Dan doesn't wait until Phil makes up his mind. "I saw you before and I really liked you. So when I noticed you were in need of help, I thought it would be a great opportunity to talk to you. You looked really cute."

He -

Oh god.

He's gay. Dan's gay. Dan's into guys, at the very least.

Dan's into him.

Phil is unable to say anything. He just stares at Dan, at the guy who just fucking confessed he liked Phil, stares, stares and stares and yet doesn't know how to respond to that revelation.

Then, Dan breaks the spell. He smiles, but it's a bitter smile. "But you know what? I was wrong, apparently. Just go back to your cool buds."

Thus, he turns around and leaves. He just walks away, his skis under his arm, not turning around even once and Phil feels like he just hit him in the stomach.

Shit.

He should feel good, probably. Turning his head, he sees that Curt’s looking at him, probably eavesdropping on their conversation. Well, he just heard Dan confessing to Phil - and he saw that Phil didn't react. He sees that Phil is still here, that Phil didn't disappear in a corner to snog with Dan. Straight, absolutely straight and that's what Phil wants them to see.

It doesn't feel good at all, though.

The look on Dan's face. The softness when he talked about having seen him before. The bitterness when he basically accused him of being fake. Damn, he said he probably was wrong about Phil - but no, no, he wasn't, he isn't that guy who's hanging out with Curt, waiting for the rest of their group, he's the guy Dan got to know on the lift and now Dan doubts that this person even exists and -

He hurt Dan.

Dan. Dan who's not the confident guy who casually helps stranded Brits just because. No, he helped him, only him. Because he liked him. Phil finally met another gay guy out in the wild. And that's so strange, so fucking strange, he really isn't used to that. Either the guys he fancies are gay but not into him - or they're straight.

Now he met a guy who confessed he wasn't just interested in men - he was also interested in him specifically. A really sweet guy, a cute guy, a lovely guy, a pretty guy.

And this exact guy just walks away, disappointed in him, believing he got the wrong impression, believing that Phil actually preferred hanging out with his group.

Shit. No. He doesn't. He'd rather -

"Curt, I'm leaving." The words come out of his mouth before Phil can even think about them. But damn, it feels right, it feels so good to finally open his mouth, to finally show that he's sick of being the annoying attachment nobody actually cares about.

Curt wants to respond, Phil can tell - but he doesn't wait, he doesn't let him. He just gets up and starts walking, towards the lift, towards the direction Dan was heading. As he's leaving, he can hear Curt stuttering. "Hey, where are you - and my name is Carl, by the way."

It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter anymore. The only thing that matters right now is catching up to Dan.

Damn, he got far. Phil can't see him anymore, so he heads over to the lift and - there he is, in line already, waiting to get on.

He's about to get away. Well, he'll stay on this hill, so it's not a huge deal, but Phil can't let him go, Phil needs to talk to him as soon as possible.

So he enters the line, pushing people aside, murmuring apologies - luckily there aren't many people behind Dan and none of them insist on their spot in the line. Still, it's damn awkward because he really isn't the kind of person to jump the line and especially not in such a rude way, but fuck, he doesn’t have the time to wait and be considerate right now, not when he wasn’t considerate at all towards Dan.

Of course, the commotion doesn't go unnoticed. Dan turns his head, but when he sees it's Phil, he turns around again. And when Phil finally closes up with him, he's already about to enter the lift.

The spot next to him is free, though.

Phil struggles to catch up, he pushes past the last barrier and then, he's there, right next to Dan and there's no time for Dan to push him away because the carrier is already behind them and Phil drops on the seat with Dan and -

Shit. Only when the carrier lifts their feet off the ground, Phil is able to catch his breath - and to reflect on what he just did.

He left Curt - wait, he said his name is Carl - behind. He left his group behind. He decided to chase after Dan. He was successful, at least kind of - at least he's sitting next to Dan. And Dan...

Well, he doesn't look happy. But he doesn't look like he really hates being with him. He may be angry - rightfully so, Phil must admit - but being next to Phil isn't the worst thing in the world. And now that Phil finally has the time to think about it, he notices that Dan could have taken a step aside and he wouldn't have been on the same carrier as Phil.

He didn't. He is kind of okay with being here.

Phil takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry for what happened before."

No reaction. Slowly, Phil begins to doubt - well, basically everything. His optimism when it comes to Dan and his attitude towards him. His decision to go after him. But damn, Dan said what he said and he can't let it go, not like that. Dan mustered the courage to tell him about his feelings, so it's just fair to do the same.

Phil's hands tremble, he clutches to the railing. "I’m so sorry, really. I'm gay too. And I hated this trip. I hated it already when we got to the airport, I regretted it when we got on the plane and I regretted it until you talked to me. They don't know that I'm gay, even my former best friend doesn't know about the real me. And then I met you and I just wanted to be with you because I finally felt comfortable and -"

He's out of breath - and out of words. Damn, sure, there's more to say - about the feeling he gets when Dan looks at him, the feeling that made Phil fall in love with him immediately, the feeling that made him want to fight for Dan, for them, the feeling that gave him the strength to talk about his feelings even though it feels so damn awkward... But he just doesn't know how to express them. And thus, he stops talking.

Dan stays silent, though. Damn, Phil put his heart out there and it was tough, he's not used to admitting he's gay and on top of that, he doesn't know how Dan will react, if he’s ruined everything already, if everything is lost already and now, Dan just stays quiet and -

Then, Dan looks at him and smiles, and even though he hasn't said anything yet, Phil is so relieved. Dan isn't angry, he’s not reluctant.

"I could tell you didn't particularly like them." Dan's voice is soft and yet again, Phil's stomach does a little jump. This is yet another reason why he likes Dan so fucking much - contrary to the guys he got here with, Dan actually cares about him, Dan actually sees his emotions.

Then, Dan sighs. "I couldn't even be mad at you. I kinda guessed why you were behaving that way and actually, I would have done the same thing if I was in your shoes, I guess."

Still, it feels so bad, it feels so wrong - still, Phil regrets his reaction. But that's in the past now and there's something more important and that's - "So you're not mad."

"Nah." Dan leans towards him, putting his arm around him and Phil -

He hoped for something more, to be honest. After all, they just said they fancied each other. And now - that's it? But it's a start and it's a damn important start because a few moments ago, he thought he had ruined everything. So sitting next to Dan in silence, just glancing at each other every now and then, smiling at each other, is pretty nice too.

It is. Still, Phil doesn't object at all when Dan comes closer.

Still, it's even nicer when Dan kisses him.

~*~*~

It's so damn cold outside.

Phil wraps his arms around himself, pulling his jacket around himself closer, he tries to keep up the spirits. There's no need to get grumpy. Even though he'd rather be inside, back in his bed, not only because it's way warmer but also because Dan’s there, lazily zapping through the TV channels, waiting for his return...

At once, Phil feels yet another pang of guilt. Sure, being with Dan is so, so nice but that's not what he's here for. He came to this place to celebrate with Scotty before he gets married and now they barely see each other anymore. That's why he immediately got dressed when Scotty asked him to go outside to talk a bit.

Doesn't change the fact that it's even colder than during the day, though.

It doesn't take Phil long to find his buddy. Just as he described in his text, he's sitting on a bench next to the hotel, two cups placed next to him. Phil walks over and sits down next to him - Scotty just smiles at him, then he offers him a cup.

"What did you add?" Phil asks. He doesn't wait for an answer, though - he takes a careful sip to test the temperature.

Scotty answers nevertheless. "No alcohol, really. I was in the mood for some tea. And yep, I felt very British. I love the amount of booze you can get here but sometimes... You just need a cup of tea, eh?"

They grin at each other and Phil slowly relaxes. It's not just because of the tea - it really helps, though - but mainly because Scotty is so relaxed too. He didn't call Phil over to scold him and it's easy to just talk to him - that's not what he expected.

It doesn't stay that easygoing for long, though. Scotty takes a sip too, then he clears his voice. "You don't feel comfortable around the other guys, do you?"

Phil instinctively looks away, hoping to hide his reaction. Scotty's assumption is spot on, but damn, he can't let him know. After all, it was Scotty who invited all of them.

But at the same time, it's Scotty who asked. It's Scotty who already suspects something. So maybe he deserves the truth.

Phil looks at Scotty again, he nods slightly. Apparently, that's what Scotty was waiting for. "I thought so. I mean - I had already predicted it."

Oh. Well, that's - sure, it's probably quite obvious when you see them together but Phil would have never guessed that Scotty knew beforehand how their relationships would develop. Of course it's easy to see they're not exactly compatible but after all, Scotty still invited all of them.

No need to ponder on that. Scotty starts explaining himself. "But I wanted you to be a part of it."

Snow starts falling. Phil lifts his head, following the little sparkly flakes as they move past the street light. Damn, it's pretty, it's really pretty - and apparently, it helps Scotty that his attention isn't focused on him anymore. "After all, we were best friends once. Sure, we may have taken different paths in life, but you were an important part of my life. So even if our relationship changed and we aren't as close anymore... I felt that you needed to be part of this trip too."

There it is again, the pang of guilt. Since he met up with their travel group at the airport, he was grumpy, feeling uncomfortable, feeling out of place - being out of place. But Scotty didn't just invite him because he felt obliged to or because they had a dropout or something like that - he actually wanted him to be part of the party. And what did he do? Avoid everyone, causing him to -

Well, to feel out of place in the beginning. And later on, he spent his time with this cute guy he met on the lift instead.

At least, the perfect moment to apologise has come. And Phil isn't willing to just let it go. "Scotty, I know I've been bad company recently. I'm sorry, I -"

But Scotty doesn't let him make use of this moment. He interrupts him. "No, that's not what I wanted to talk about. I didn't want to make you feel guilty."

His smile is honest and -

It's strange. Phil really can't tell what exactly changed but right now, on this very bench, he feels their friendship for the first time during their trip. Maybe it's because Scotty focuses on him alone, maybe it's because Phil doesn't keep to himself... It feels good, though.

Scotty reaches out, he pats his back. "I mean, I'm the one to blame, aren't I? I knew it wouldn't work out, inviting both you and the guys. You're just too different. But still, I wanted to bring all of you with me. Because you're all a part of my life."

"Scotty, you're not to blame, really." Phil hurries to say.

But Scotty just shrugs it off. Apparently, the time for blaming is over. "You know, that's why I'm actually happy you found your own way to feel comfortable on this trip. That's why I'm not mad at all that you don't hang out with us all the time. You're here and that's what this is about. It's not about you fitting in with the buds because - well, you wouldn't be the Phil I invited to this trip in that case. I invited you because you're different."

Phil leans back, taking another sip from his cup. He feels... relieved, strangely relieved.

They both feel the same about their friendship - and about the trip, actually. They both know they once were closer but yet, they still like each other. And it's okay that they aren't that close anymore. Because they don't need to be.

For a moment, they just sit next to each other in silence. Then, Scotty nudges him. The smile on his face isn't friendly anymore, isn't peaceful anymore - he's up to no good, that's obvious. "So... This guy."

Up to no good... Or just nosy. Well, he deserves to be, it's okay that he wants to know more about how Phil spends his time on their trip. So Phil returns his grin. "Dan."

Scotty nods slowly. "Yeah. Dan."

Phew. It feels strange to talk about Dan. He basically kept him a secret from the group and yep, that includes Scotty. And it's not just them - after all, he isn't actually out and only a few people know he's into guys.

But at the same time, he knows it's okay. He knows he can talk to Scotty about it.

So he takes a deep breath and... "I'm gay."

Scotty stays quiet. But as Phil lifts his head to look at him, he can see that he's nodding again. No sign of disgust, no sign of aversion and even though he didn't expect Scotty to react that way, he's a bit relieved.

Then, Scotty finally says something. "Phew. Okay. Feels kinda strange. On the one hand, I'd love to ask you why you didn't tell me. But we were so young when we were best friends."

Phil shrugs. Now he actually feels a bit uncomfortable. "Well, I knew I liked guys since I was, like, twelve, so... But I couldn't talk about it back then. I don't even talk about it today, to be precise. So if you didn't tell anyone..."

Scotty hums, then he turns quiet again. This time, it's not as awkward as before, but Phil would really like to know what's going on inside of Scotty's head. If he's still contemplating why Phil didn't tell him. If he thinks about the way Phil behaved back then, wondering if he should have known.

But as he stays quiet, Phil feels the need to tell a bit more. "I also couldn't tell you because I had a little crush on you. It's long over, though."

Finally - a reaction. Scotty snorts, then he hits him with his elbow. It catches Phil by surprise but seeing Scotty so amused is way better than yet another awkward pause - and it was highly probable, after all he just told Scotty he once had a crush on him.

"What, like it's a bad thing? I'm a good crush, okay?" Scotty sounds genuinely upset but the fact that he isn't upset about Phil's former feelings, just about the way he talks about them... Phil can't help but laugh. Damn, Scotty stayed so quiet about his coming out, he didn't expect him to be so relaxed about his crush.

He turns his head to take a closer look at Scotty, at his pout and - damn, he's still quite handsome. Long, black eyelashes, soft skin, soft lips... But that's it. It’s over. Especially because he knows there's someone waiting for him back at his room. A super gorgeous guy, a lovely guy, someone who made him fall head over heels.

Scotty leans over to refill his cup of tea. Without asking, he takes Phil's cup and pours in more tea too. Then, he's ready to return to his original question. "So... Dan."

Phil smiles, he just can't help it. God, he's really fallen for that guy - just hearing his name gives him butterflies.

He doesn't get to focus on them, though. Scotty wants facts. Quite difficult, to be honest, after all there aren't many facts yet... So Phil just starts talking. "He's sweet. We're having a good time."

Scotty raises his eyebrows, making them both laugh. It helps Phil to relax a little bit. "I'm not saying we're just fucking all the time, okay?"

"But it means you do fuck." Scotty points out, scratching his chin. Phil reaches over to hit him against the shoulder.

"I won't elaborate on that."

"Don't worry, you don't have to." Still, Scotty chuckles. "Just wanted to know the basic facts. Keep going."

Not yet. Phil takes a short break to reflect on their conversation. It feels actually good to talk to Scotty - it feels good to be able to talk about Dan and Scotty's relaxed way really makes him feel comfortable. That's not what he expected at all when he received Scotty's message but hey, he won't complain.

Then, Scotty nudges him and Phil knows his break is over. "He's still trying to teach me how to ski - we're spending a few hours a day outside, on the piste."

Scotty actually knows about that, they regularly meet and even though Phil keeps to Dan, they talk to each other each time. But he doesn't know that Dan is a really strict yet very cute instructor who tries to bribe him with sweet little promises if he just makes it down to that tree without falling over...

Well, he shouldn't think too much about these promises. Instead, he continues. "He isn't a sporty guy, though. He only likes skiing a lot."

"Oh, I was wondering about that. A sporty guy wouldn't fit you," Scotty remarks. And just like that, it's natural. Phil likes guys, so Scotty thinks about guys that would match him. Simple as that.

"Yeah, but I'm glad he does at least one sport. Otherwise, we wouldn't have met. Well, when we're cold, we return to the room to warm up. No, it's not just about sex." Phil rolls his eyes at Scotty who lifts his hands to show his innocence. Sure, that's absolutely not what he wanted to point out, of course...

He doesn't go into detail about their time at the hotel room, though. Instead, he just dwells on it a bit. Dan lying in his bed, cuddling with Dan, smelling Dan, feeling Dan, kissing Dan... Sometimes they watch TV and Dan tries to translate a bit for him before Phil stops his efforts by kissing him, sometimes they play games, sometimes they talk, sometimes they're just looking at each other... They're having a good time, a really good time.

But their time is limited. Dan will leave one day after they do and this day is quickly approaching.

Phil already feels the dread of being separated getting stronger when Scotty interrupts it. "So... Is it official yet?"

Even though the question has something to do with this dread, it helps Phil to relax a bit. "Nah, we're just... Enjoying being together. But we're planning to meet again. He's from England too and even though it would take several hours to meet up... We both really want it. So... We're taking things slowly, waiting to see how things turn out when we're back home. But we're pretty optimistic. It's fun to imagine a future together and it feels like it could actually work out."

"Awww. That's sweet." Scotty only sounds partly sincere. So it's totally okay to hit him once more - still, Phil feels a bit giddy about his comment.

It doesn't stay that way for long, though. Scotty adds something else. "Just make sure to invite me to your stag party when you guys get married, okay?"

~*~*~

When Phil returns to his hotel room, Dan's asleep. He rolled up in the middle of the bed, the TV still on.

Phil smiles. He picks up the remote and turns the TV off before he gets out of his clothes. As he tries to move Dan a little bit, just a tiny little bit so he can lie down next to him, Dan stirs. He doesn't wake up, though. And when Phil lies down next to him, he immediately snuggles up to him.

Phil wraps his arms around him, he closes his eyes.

He's happy.


End file.
